Thriving Through Connection: The Power of Relationships

If cancer is a manifestation of a systemic failure in our bodies, are children failing in schools also a manifestation of a systemic failure in our school systems?

Key to helping all students thrive are relationships, specifically between the teacher and the student. In medicine, the doctor-patient relationship (DPR) is a central part of healthcare. A strong doctor-patient relationship can lead to better health outcomes, improved quality of life, and higher patient satisfaction.  As a patient, I had to trust my oncologist who, much like a teacher, was going to play a pivotal role in advising and guiding my care. My first appointment with my oncologist was not only to review my test results, but for him to learn more about me: my family, my work, what I felt would be helpful to me as a patient, what my worries, concerns, and questions were. After that, my doctor laid out the treatment plan he was recommending for me to review. Then he said, “The medical team knows what protocols to follow to treat this disease, but a big part of your treatment plan will be how you communicate with us and how you will prioritize your own care. Please know that we will always be here to support you through this process.” This was the beginning of our trusting doctor-patient relationship. 

Now, let’s compare this to education. Research shows that the key to student success is the relationship between students, families, and school, but do all families have complete trust in their schools? 

• Do all teachers know how to effectively establish trust with their students and their families? 

• Do we have plans for schools and districts to effectively communicate in a meaningful way with students and families?   

• Do all teachers have a strong relationship with their students that leads to consistent monitoring, timely interventions, and adjustments to their individualized learning plans? 

• Do all school systems inform and provide all teachers with the resources necessary when a student needs to be referred for additional supports? 

If establishing trust and building relationships are critical to student success...

• What do schools and school districts do at the beginning of the school year to foster positive relationships and trust with the students and families? 

• How is this relationship nurtured throughout the year to ensure students do not fall through the cracks?

• Are teachers and staff offered professional learning opportunities on how to build strong relationships with their students and families?

In medicine, when the doctor-patient relationship doesn't work, the following elements are usually standing in the way:

The doctor has a paternalistic approach.  In education, we call this the “pobrecito syndrome.” The danger of paternalism is that we unconsciously lower our expectations about what the student can achieve.

The doctor will tend to dominate the conversation and the patient is expected to comply without questioning. As you walk into a classroom, put a timer on for five minutes and take notes about how many times the teacher is speaking, how many times the students are speaking, and how many times the students engage in discussions with each other. I am willing to bet that in most cases, the five minutes will mostly be dominated by the teacher speaking. In education, we refer to this as the “sage on stage” teaching approach. As my mentor, David K. Cohen would say, “These (school) systems are a particular kind of entity. Distinctiveness is not well understood.” Indeed, in most school systems, we still model our classrooms and instruction based on our own schooling experiences. Therefore, we want our students to work quietly, follow the rules, and raise their hands when they have questions. All of these factors discourage the building of a trusting and positive relationships between teachers and students. 

Thankfully, we have doctors and educators that seek ways to transform education and healthcare. They are the ones running clinical trials in hospitals and piloting programs at schools. They are the ones seeking to build what Jal Mehta calls Human Centered Communities that support both educators and students. These are communities where teachers have built strong relationships with families and implement innovations and changes in practice that encourage students to be creative, critical thinkers and exercise agency.  These are the types of school systems that I always strive to build in my own career. I want to build a public school system that wants to work authentically with families and communities to end the achievement gap once and for all. After all, it was a healthcare system whose doctors built trusting relationships with their patients and engaged in groundbreaking research that saved my life. 

We can no longer continue to build school systems that think linearly and are comfortable with the status quo. We need brave and human centered school systems that offer a re-centering of the teacher-student relationship as the hallmark of quality education for all students to thrive.